What's around the corner?

Just the other day, one of my best friends called me with news that literally had me smiling for hours.  After meeting an amazing man back in February, they started dating. On a random Tuesday, he took her out for ice cream and as they walked back to her apartment he asked her to spend the rest of his life with him. She said yes. and the ring is gorgeous!   

Its funny to think that if you had asked me a year ago from now if I would believe my friend would be engaged today, I would have never believed you.  

Last year around this time, we were preparing for another friend's wedding.  Both single, and both working a full time job.  We had even laughed at the thought of us sharing a hotel room at another wedding since we were the two single bridesmaids again.  It was hard to even see the word boyfriend, let alone husband in our close future.  We had both felt a little down about our current situations but tried to comfort each other with the idea that something is out there for us, we just couldn't see it yet.  

When she called on Tuesday with the news, after my immediate gasp and screams of joy, I began to start thinking, that you really never  know who you will meet today, tomorrow, or even a month from now.

I remember a blog post of mine from back around Valentine's Day.  A fellow blogger posted:

"Happy Valentine's Day, my sweets! What are you doing tonight? On this day four years ago, I was feeling sad and lonely....and had no idea that I was only two weeks from meeting Alex. It goes to show that you never know what's right around the corner!"

The phrase although sappy and somewhat far-fetched is actually quite true.  Even last Christmas, my dear friend could not see that just around the corner was her future husband.  Within months of dating and falling madly in love she realized it was her soulmate.  Having someone close to me have this happen to them helped to bring some light to my current situation.  My friend Emily was living proof that this is true.  

As I approach my 27th birthday a small part of me is scared to get closer to 30. Aging only gets me thinking of how far from my childhood goals/dreams I am getting as another birthday approaches.  However,a lot could happen in the next year. I could finally shed the weight that I have always wanted to lose.  I might find a new job, settle in a new area, or even yet, meet someone who will change my life.  Instead of dwelling on what hasn't happened up to this point in my life, I need to rejoice in the face that its a new year and a new day for something to happen.

I am looking forward to meeting my friend's fiance on Saturday for lunch and finally getting to smother her with hugs and kisses.  I am so happy for her and can't believe this day has finally happened for her too!

Congrats Emily and Joe!

Love for Wine

Don't we all feel this way sometimes:  

A woman is sitting at home on the veranda with her husband and she says,
 "I love you."

       

        He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"

       

        She replies, "It's me............. talking to the wine."

Finding the Time

Time is the one thing we sometimes waste, yet other times want more of. 

Some days time moves so slow, while other days goes to fast. 

Its the one thing that will never change, yet seems to change who we are and what we do

Take time to do all of the things in the above quote.  

We should all live our lives this way.

My Love Life...or Lack There Of

I have noticed lately that I have been giving a good friend of mine relationship advice on almost a daily basis.  Anything from how to handle emotions after a first date to how to take charge and ask a guy out.  However, its seems a little silly that I am the one giving relationship advice.  Those who know me have seen my ups and downs and lack there of with men.  I have had three runs with men, none of which I want to brag about, and plenty of reasons to kick all men to the curb forever.  I can count the total amount of dates I have ever been on, on one hand, so how does that make me qualified to give relationship advice? Do you need to be loved to give advice to others? Or can you be qualified on your ability to love others?   

My first boyfriend, lets call him M, was in love with me since 9th grade.  It took me a few years to notice him more than a friend, and right before our senior year of high school we went on our first date.  During our year of togetherness he taught me how to change a tire, detail a car, and hide a ding I had put in my mother's van. After a long week at school we would drive out to a field and lay on a blanket looking at the stars.  He was slowly becoming my Romeo. However, during high school I ran into a bump in the road with girls who I had thought were my friends.  Emotionally I was a wreck for the better half of my senior year.  FYI: High School Girls can be nasty and I later learned would do anything to take your happiness away.  When I finally began to realize M was the best thing that would ever cross my way, it was too late. He had chased me for so long and by the time I came around to the idea of letting him in and returning the feelings back, the evil high school girls had pulled him under their wing and brought him to the dark side.  I know now, that even if we would have stayed together,  we would have never made it past one semester of college.  We were complete opposites of each other.  He was getting closer to a crowd of people who had betrayed me for many years, and I was beginning to find out college would be a good way for me to start over with new friends. (Let me just point out, even though high school has some awful memories for me, I did leave with a solid core group of friends who I will also stay close with).  M married a few years ago to a girl who wanted a boob job instead of a wedding reception (who doesn't want a wedding reception?) and although i regret not appreciating the things he did for me more, I also am thankful that we have lived separate lives.  




A few years after M  and I broke up I found myself focusing more on my studies, partying and part-time job.  However, out of the blue one day I ran into C.  He was the class clown, everyone's best friend, and my co-worker.  For years we had opposite schedules which prevented us from ever meeting in person at our work meetings, until that fateful day right before our senior year.  I found myself laughing with him in the student center as I sipped on a strawberry smoothie.  Something about this boy was different.  He wasn't out to impress anyone by the way he dressed, and he certainly didn't care what other people thought of him.  However, deep down it seemed like there was something special about him.  Drunk, on my 21st birthday, I found myself at a party with C.  When I bumped into him on my way to the bathroom he told me I was the prettiest girl at the party.  We spend weeks together studying for classes together and flirting at work. 


One night as I sat on my front porch with my friends, a truck drove past our house and in the bed of the truck was C.  As if it was out of a movie, he quickly patted on the top of the truck to signal to his friends he was bailing on them.  He jumped out the back running toward my house smiling at me as I sipped on my wine. It was that moment I knew this boy would quickly have my heart.    In early October, he confessed to me that despite our moments together he had been dating someone else.  I couldn't understand how that was possible.  We spent every moment together.  How could he possibly have someone else in his life.  


After a few days, he convinced me things were over with the two of them.  He had ended things the moment he realized he had feelings for me.  Although, we did most things together, something in the back of my mind always made me feel like I wasn't the only girl in his life.  Although his family loved me, his frat couldn't get enough of me, and his friends told me I was the best thing to happen to him, something was off on his end.  It was evident I was in love.  He seemed like my forever.  We had only been dating a few months but something about this cowboy had me wrapped around his finger.  After spending New Years Eve together, at his parents house, and falling asleep together in front of the fire place I was beginning to realize I had nothing to worry about.  I was actually beginning to see a future together for the two of us.  I had let my guard down and began to fall hard for him. That all changed a week later when we returned back at school.  When he didn't stop by my apartment after returning in town from break I knew something was wrong.  He came over eventually and after two hours of watching TV he out of no where told me he had to end things.  I was crushed and heart broken. Where was this coming from? He left my room shortly after and I cried for hours, later washing away the tears with a few glasses of vodka at the local pub.  


Months passed and all signs led me to believe he had returned back to his ex.  Or hadn't they ever really ended things? Years when by and we stayed connected through email and texts.  During the first year of our breakup I booked a flight to Wyoming (all of my savings) just to visit him.  I even pathetically threw a surprise birthday party with his family for him a few years ago, just a friendly gesture.  To this day we are still friends. 

My most recent relationship started a few years ago with B. It had been years since I had felt something for a guy more than just as a friend and B was something completely different than I had ever been attracted to.  I had no idea in the beginning that B would change me and my life forever, not in a good way.  I still don't like talking about what he put me through and how he changed the way I look at men now.  I lost a huge part of myself during this relationship and after years of emotional struggle I am trying to rebuild myself back after B broke me down.  The relationship between us has been over for quite sometime, but it will be a while until I fill the emptiness he left in me.


The other day something possessed me to ask C he had every cheated on my so many years before.  Instead of an instant NO, he replied that he had never had sex with anyone but that he had been seeing her while we were dating.  I was crushed.  During college I thought he was the one, however, little did I know he was in love with another. 


After three rocky relationships, I realized two of them were shams, and may not have been relationships at all.  Does not knowing how to even hold a real relationship myself qualify me to tell others how to love and be loved? I feel comfortable giving advice to my friend when she is seeking an answer to her male problems, however, when I look at my own life I am not even sure I know what love means anymore in my life. What qualifies us to give others advice on their own love lives when we can't even find love for ourselves?

Happily Ever Afters

I saw a post the other day that said:

"Its never to late to start your happily ever after"

and you know, that is so true.  We always put so much pressure on ourselves to find that perfect person before a certain age, or at a certain time in our life. But the truth is, its never to late to start that fairy tale life.  Just because the fairy tale hasn't started today doesn't mean the happily ever after is not in your near future.  Who knows, you could meet him next month. Thats the best part about the future, we have know idea what lies ahead for us.

Return to Sender: With Love

Have you ever gotten a little to close to someone where side jokes and witty comments start turning into jabs and hurtful remarks? I realized that many of times I lose control of my words with friends and end up saying things that start out as funny but slowly turn into sarcastic comments that could be taken hurtful by my loved ones.


This weekend a friend, that I have gotten all too comfortable with in conversation, shed some light on my recent remarks.  As a way to stop talking to each other in semi-hurtful (but joking) ways, we decided with every rude remark we must follow up with three compliments to each other.  It really makes you realize how often you slip in sarcasm when you are immediately following up the conversation with the compliments.


Just something to make you think about what you say and how you say it.

Short but Sweet

Yesterday at work my boss told me about a blog she loves, A Cup of Jo.  After reading just three posts I immediately added her to my blogroll.  But it wasn't the fabulous giveaways that made me fall in love.  It was her post about unexpected love....a true case of Serendipity that really stuck with me:


"Happy Valentine's Day, my sweets! What are you doing tonight? On this day four years ago, I was feeling sad and lonely....and had no idea that I was only two weeks from meeting Alex. It goes to show that you never know what's right around the corner!"


Her post really hit home to me.  So many times my girlfriends and I think that we will never find our match, however, we never know when we are days or moments away from running into our soul mates.  Who knows, I could  meet him on the way to work today, I could share a seat with him on a bus next week, or I could have had dinner with him within the past month.  Life really is full of serendipities, we just have to wait to see how they all play out.  Thanks Joanna for giving all of us hopeless romantics with no one to love, hope.  


Who will you meet this week?

Save the Last Dance

Yesterday was one of the most beautiful winter days I can remember in a long time.  68 degrees in the middle of February does seem a little odd, but I thoroughly enjoyed not wearing a jacket to work.  I have to admit, although it was beautiful outside, I was a little bitter about the whole Valentines Day nonsense by the end of the day.  

However, when I walked in my front door and saw the brown Amazon box with my name on it,  I bolted across the entry way immediately shredding open the box.  

Guess what??.....IT  had arrived!! 

 No, it wasn't a red ryder BB gun...but I did feel like the kid from a Christmas Story as I tore out the contents from inside the package.  

 

Have you ever seen anything so beautiful in your life? 

As soon as it was released to stores on Feb 1 I had to get my hands on it.  I completely forgot that the package would be coming in the mail this week and after my debbie downer day I had this was the best way to cheer myself up.

(Yes, even I thought my attitude was getting annoying by the end of the day)

  Sadly, I had little time to enjoy my surprise gift, as I was already running late for my ballroom dance class. I was a little leary about dancing on Valentines Day with single 45 year olds, however as I walked in and took my position on the floor I noticed the room was full of new faces.  

After beginning with the Waltz lesson, we quickly advanced to learning the Foxtrot and Tango.   After a few partner changes I noticed my next move was to an 85 year old man in a grey and green argyle sweater.  

My heart melted.  

I was in love.  

He took my hand, winked at me and smile.  He lead me around the room, slightly slower than my other partners, but I didn't even notice.  The smile never left his face and he kept his eyes on me the whole time.  A part of me wondered what his story was.  

Did he live a long happy life with his wife who recently passed away?  

 Was dancing a passion of his for his entire life? 

Sadly, after a few moments of dancing our instructor asked us to switch again.  He gave me one last twirl and thanked me for the dance.  However, I was the one who was thankful. After complaining all day about Valentines Day reminders, my short dance with this gentleman reminded me that every day is filled with moments of happiness, but we have to be willing to notice them and take them in.  I shouldn't get upset about the lack of romance currently in my life, but rather be thankful for everything I get to do and experience.  I will always remember my dance with the little old man.  I just hope I get paired up with him again in the upcoming weeks. 

Fresh Starts

Greetings readers! (Or possibly at this moment lack there of)...however, by rolling out this new blog I hope to possibly generate some new readers who will turn into friends and followers.  I had tried blogging in the past but decided to start fresh. 

As I clenched my teeth on my blue pen today anxiously deciding my new blog address I stumbled upon this quote from the television show, The Wonder Years:

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love,

the things you are, 

the things you never want to lose.  

The quote reminded me that in the end your life is just a book of memories.  However, we all have the chance to write our life story and the memories, characters, and happily ever after are determined by how we live our life each day.  

I mean truthfully, on a normal day would you walk into your local coffeeshop and ask the the barista "Just give me a cup of anything".  Hopefully not.  Like most people we make decisions based on the emotions and feelings we want to get out of it.  You add a shot of espresso to help you get through the day, a generous helping of caramel to satisfy your sweet tooth, a dash of cinnamon to bring out the flavors of the beverage, all topped off with a dollop of whip cream to add a fun element to the top.  Tall Cup of Love, came from the theory that what I order for my life should be like ordering your morning coffee, filling it with all of the extra additions that make it more than just a cup of the same old boring cup of Joe.

We have all heard the expression, don't let life pass you by, and I couldn't agree with it more. Within the past 2 months I have done a lot of soul searching and "growing up".  I have realized I only get one shot at this life and I don't want to screw it up.  From now on, instead of just settling for what life throws at me, I am going to challenge myself to start ordering everything Tall Cup of Love style.  Filling up my cup with people, memories and experiences that I love.  

And sure, life is not perfect, I get that.  I am sure along the next 70 or 80 years I am bound to hit a few bumps in the road, but those curve balls give us a few funny stories to pass along to our kids right?