August: Happiness Project Update

This month of the happiness project, my primary focus was to spend more time with friends.  It was the perfect month to try this because at the start of the month my days were pretty full with socializing with friends anyway.


  

This was me exploring Buzz Bakery in my
neighborhood with two college friends

There were good and bad things about this month's project.  The good was I was able to maximum my time with friends.  I learned that I need to listen more, and talk less. Too many times I get distracted by technology or my surroundings and I find myself drifting the focus away from the person I am with. After this month, I realized one the biggest changes I need to work on to become happier is focusing less on whats around me and what else is going on and more time focusing on the friend I am with. 

  NYC Trip with some of my college roommates 

turned out to be a weekend of
laughter, healing, sharing, and loving. 

The bad part of the month was a small hiccup I ran into with one of my close friends.  During a vulnerable moment on Saturday evening,  I let my guard down and told a close friend about my horrible relationship with B.  Only a very few people know about him and the horrible struggle I have had after our emotionally destructive relationship.  Unfortunately, my friend was not as understanding as I had hoped and did not take the story well.    I have always feared this would be people's reaction.  This fear is one reason I keep this secret buried deep inside. It would be a lie to say that his reaction didn't affect me.  I was crushed to see how he took the story and how quickly he threw anger back at me. The hardest part is knowing I can't take back what I said, I can't take back my past, and I can only hope that eventually this friend will understand me and the experience I went through.  


This month's Happiness Project forced me to think a lot about the friendships I currently have, how friendships are built, and how to keep a friendship. 


I realized at the end of this month that friendships are built upon a lot of things.  Trust, understanding, loving, honesty, and communication.  


I also learned a lot about myself as a friend to others.  I know now what I need to work on personally over the next few months (and years) on becoming a better friend to those who are special to me in my life.


Over the last three years I have learned a lot about forgiveness and accepting. I realized this month I am truly blessed with amazing friends, however, a part of me is still hurt by what happened with the one friend and I can only hope that I can change who I am, in becoming a better person, to show them the real me.