The whole ordeal started back senior year of college. I can distinctly remember the first time I realized something was wrong. We were out at Hard Rock Cafe during the National Honor Society trip to Toronto (or was it Boston? - that minor detail I forget, because they were back to back years, but anyways) and I felt extremely sick after eating dinner. We went to a mystery dinner theater afterward which I loved, but I spent half of the time in the bathroom, embarrassed because I couldn't figure out what caused me to have an immediate case of what seemed to be food poisoning. Months later when every meal made me feel that way, I knew it was something else. Most blamed it on the nerves of high school ending, college beginning, and the recent distance I was feeling between me and my then "high school sweetheart", however, when things didn't shake off months later after college had began, the doctors appointments and medical tests began.
It wasn't until hundreds of my parent's dollars later, and years of going in and out of doctors appointments (included a colonoscopy which I will NEVER forget), that we learned I had many food allergies. Three months before my Junior year of college ended I began a strict diet of only foods that would not irritate my stomach. I hadn't felt that good in years. I finally understood what it was like to feel ok after eating a meal. What helped was spending that summer in Washington D.C. for an internship. I returned to college my senior year 50 lbs skinner and feeling great. But, we all know what comes with senior year. Temptation of partying at all hours, late night runs to Sheetz (yes, I am a native PA girl), and staying up all night studying, eating and developing those bad eating habits I once had. Slowly but surely I put the 50lbs back on (with about 30 extra lbs). Although the sickness after eating didn't come back right away, I knew it was too good to be true. Eventually everything caught back up with me. However, after tasting all of the foods that I was once banned from eating, I remembered how much I enjoyed eating those foods. I quickly told myself that getting sick here and there wasn't such a big deal.
The years went by after college, and it became part of my routine to just feel sick after most meals, I forgot how nice it was to feel healthy after eating a meal of strictly foods that I was ALLOWED to eat. I went through bouts here and there where I tried to do a modified diet again that prevented me from eating most foods that I had allergies too but still enjoying those delicious foods I love. However, nothing ever seemed to do the trick.
My food allergies or the reactions I get, is not something I try to make public. I am embarrassed about what it does to me and down play how I actually feel every time I eat. I embarrassingly stay home or avoid going out if the episode is really bad and pretend it was just another sickness, when really I am feeling near death as I spend the evening in the bathroom hating myself for eating that last meal. Right before Christmas, I was reminded how bad it can really get. My family, who is used to what the food does to me, knows what I go through. But, Christmas was different. It was as if I was back in college again, suffering in pain from the sickness after eating. Trust me, no one wants to spend the first day back at their parents for Christmas vacation curled up on the couch in the fetal position, wishing they hadn't eaten that day.
This morning I went through it again. I woke up feeling nauseous, secretly knowing it must have been from the pizza binge I had the night before. As the day went on, I tried eating a bowl of soup followed by a hot chocolate, but it only made my symptoms worse. Talking, walking, even thinking too much only provoked the sickness. I got home and felt awful. The nauseous and upset stomach made me realize it was finally time to stop feeling this way. I immediately made a pot of brown rice and plain chicken to eat for the next few days. Its time to start feeling good again, and eating the foods I am NOT allergic too. Although that means cutting out almost everything that tastes good to me, I realize now
its NOT NORMAL to feel sick after each meal.
Its NOT NORMAL to spend an evening laying on the couch in pain and dizzy from the nausea
It IS NORMAL to feel good after eating
I apologize for the rant, however, if there is anyone out there who feels the way I do, just know its good to find out what you are allergic too and if it can be helped. So join me in 2012 the year of feeling good, and gaining control of what I eat and how I feel from eating.
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